The last time I was pulled over by the police, the excuse they gave me was that my hat was suspicious. Also, a friend of mine got stopped 17 times in 2 months. Because of this, I have compiled a list of genuine reasons police have given for stopping black people.

(1) Wearing the wrong hat.

(2) Car being too clean.

(3) Dreadlocks.

(4) Driving a ‘drug dealer car’ (BMW).

(5) Driving a ‘drug dealer car’ (2-seater smart car).

(6) Driving a Rolls Royce.

(7) Cowboy boots.

(8) Driving in the wrong area (Richmond, N.Yorks).

(9) NOT speeding but looking like you were going to speed.

(10) ‘It’s late for you to be driving.’

(11) ‘Your surname doesn’t fit what you look like.’

(12) ‘The tint on your car window (factory spec) is too dark for identification purposes.’

(13) ‘You’ve parked on a road drain.’

(14) ‘We know you don’t fit the description but we are taking you down to the station anyway.’

(15) Camping.

(16) Camping (a different person in a different area).

(17) Riding a bicycle.

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The authorities have still not told me what the right type of hat is.